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 »  Home  »  Self Help
Self Help



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» Self Acceptance - The Art of Loving Yourself
By shimon fa | Published 07/13/2008 | Self Help | Unrated
One of the keys to a happier live is accepting and loving yourself. Self acceptance seems obvious and simple yet for some it's one of the hardest keys to implement.

We are constantly bombarded with images that state how we should look, talk, dress and even smell. Magazines, movies and commercials determine whats fashionable and therefore accepted. They promote the notion that if you don't look like the guy from the commercial, if you aren't thin and muscular then you aren't "normal".

The problem begins when we believe them and therefore act as if we were damaged goods. The good news is that you can change your believes, you just need to decide that you no longer want to live your life this way.

Start by writing all the good qualities you possess including the physical, you can add items daily. Decide that you are going to accept yourself the way you are, not the way you could or should be. Stop comparing yourself with others, whenever you start comparing just change your thoughts to something else.

Another good idea is to look at the mirror closely. Look at your pupils and say to yourself that you are great and that you love yourself the way you are, say it a few times in a row with passion .See if that makes you feel uncomfortable meaning you don't believe in it,if so then you will know that you have more work to do.

Finally start acting to change what it is you want (slimming etc), not from a needer's place but from a place of wealth.

After a while you will begin to notice a change in the people around you. They will seem nicer and more accepting, it's because you have changed. Remember if god wanted you to be perfect he would of created you perfect, you are already perfect the way you are. Here is another great technique to accept yourself.
To discover more secrets to a happier life take a look at spirituality and self help
» Smoking Addiction - its Components and Causes
By Knut Holt | Published 03/19/2007 | Self Help | Rating:

Here is a survey of the factors that contribute to the addiction to smoking and nicotine.

» Build Confidence with Strategies that Really Work
By Peter Murphy | Published 11/29/2006 | Self Help | Unrated

Wouldn’t it be grand if we could just wake up in the morning, brush our teeth and put on our confidence for the day?

Well, for those of us who don’t have a drawer full, here are 4 simple strategies that will help you build confidence.

1. Accentuate the positive.

Be your own best friend. What do you tell a friend who’s tried something new, whether or not it turned out well? At least you tried something new- good for you!

Accentuate the effort it took in doing something, rather than the final outcome. (You’d do it for your best friend, wouldn’t you?) We all have limitations. The key is to accept that you have them without dwelling on them.

2. Don’t be afraid to take some risks.

When you are about to embark on a new experience, do you spend your time worrying so much about the outcome you aren’t enjoying the moment? If you look at new things in your life as a chance to learn something, it opens up the possibility of you becoming good at that something.

If you spend your time dreading the outcome, you’ll turn any opportunity there might have been into a failure. What’s more, we can’t grow when we are frozen with fear. Don’t set yourself up to fail. If you do, look at number one, again!

3. Use self-talk to keep assumptions away.

We all use self-talk. The key is to use it in a way that we don’t form bad thoughts that can lead to permanent doubts. Catch yourself using negative self-talk and cancel it with something positive and not based on assumptions!

Build confidence by not expecting perfection from yourself at all times. You can only do your very best at something. Nobody can do everything perfectly, so why do you assume that you should be able to?

4. Learn to rely on your self-evaluation.

If you always rely on the opinion of others, you’ll always be wondering what they think! That does nothing to build confidence - it tears it down, by giving away your personal power to others.

Focus on the real you, inside, to find out how you feel about your own actions, how you’ve been doing your job, etc. You’ll be developing a strong sense of who you are.

It’s important to remember that no one can be self-confident all of the time. In fact, you’ll build confidence faster and easier once your realize that.

Most people with low self-esteem or who lack in confidence are that way because of unrealistic expectations. They expect more from themselves than they do others.

A person with low self-esteem will think nothing about calling him or herself a ‘stupid idiot.’ They wouldn’t dream of saying that to someone else. To build confidence it’s a good idea to be your own best friend.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: <a href="http://www-confidence.com/" target="_blank">http://www-confidence.com/</a>

» How to be Confident in 4 Easy Steps
By Peter Murphy | Published 11/29/2006 | Self Help | Unrated

Some people just seem to naturally know how to be confident in any given situation. Let’s face it; learning how to be more confident can seem like a daunting task.

However, if you want to have the courage to go after your dreams, you owe it to yourself to learn the secrets to being a more confident person.

1. Think yourself confident.

There is a part of your mind that can work wonders in changing your life. It’s your subconscious mind. The remarkable thing about this part of your mind is that it doesn’t know the difference between something that you’ve imagined and something real.

If you spend time vividly imagining a goal, a hope or a dream, the subconscious accepts that that goal or hope or dream is yours. Then, instead of trying to talk you out of it, it literally sets out to make the blueprint a reality.

2. Write it down.

The subconscious also doesn’t know the difference between something you write that is only a dream or if it is a reality. So write things in the present tense. Get in the habit of seeing things from the end.

In other words, see yourself as someone who knows how to be confident in any situation. If you picture yourself as a public speaker, write down a story about detailing what a great speaker you are. Picture the audience laughing and smiling- they are really enjoying your presentation.

Describe in as much details as possible how you are feeling as you stand up in front of this group of people. Concentrate on how confident you are that things are going well. Write a mini-movie, with you as the director, producer and star!

3. Cut and Paste.

Most of us have, at one time or another made a collage. A collage is a collection of pictures, usually things that are meaningful to the person that’s collecting them.

Find and cut out pictures that represent the desired outcome. In this case, you might want to find pictures of people that are engaged in activities that you want to do. They know how to be confident in this situation and look like they are having a good time.

Don’t just pick photos that you think will do. Be picky. Remember, you are the leader of your own life. Take your time and choose, cut and paste pictures that really speak to you. If you see a picture that shows someone doing something that you wish you could do, but the picture makes you feel anxious or nervous, don’t use it.

Likewise, you won’t want to choose something that is too unbelievable. The subconscious may not know the difference between a vividly held dream and reality, but it won’t believe you’ve become an astronaut unless you believe it yourself!

4. Take Action.

Take advantage of any public speaking classes or workshops offered in your area. Remember, learning how to be confident is like learning any other skill - it should be practiced.

Join a group, take a class - taking daily actions towards your ultimate goal will get you there faster.

You can learn how to be confident in many situations. The most important thing is to enjoy the process. Whatever the goal, the subconscious will help bring about amazing results

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: <a href="http://www-confidence.com/" target="_blank">http://www-confidence.com/</a>.

» Gain Confidence and Boost Self Esteem in 5 Simple Stepss
By Peter Murphy | Published 11/29/2006 | Self Help | Unrated

We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you’ve been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You’ll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of ‘flow’. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, you’ll feel competent and capable. It’s a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don’t have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you’ve always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn’t have to be something big - it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

You’ll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

It’s been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

You’ll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, you’ve interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you’ve never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver’s test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: <a href="http://www-confidence.com/" target="_blank">http://www-confidence.com/</a>



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